A Silly Question

Okay, I have a question for everyone who is reading or has read the Bible from Genesis through 2Chronicles.

Come to think of it, I wondered this the last time I tried to read the Bible.

Are you ready? Here it is:

We just covered the stories of Saul, David & Solomon. The battles, the moving of the Ark, the building of the temple, etc. I thought the timeline & events were very clear the first time.

So does anybody know why we are reviewing it again in the books of 1&2 Chonicles?

Now, I am not by any means criticizing or questioning the Lord in a prideful manner. It's His story, and I am happy to let Him tell it in whatever way He wants to.

But. I'm confused. Because I also know that He doesn't seem to do anything, big or small, without a very specific reason.

As I read this morning, I caught myself saying, "Yes, I already know that David made Joab count all the fighting men in Isreal, & that this displeased the Lord. I just read about it, like, three days ago. Why to we have to go over it again?"

And, then I realized that there must be a reason for all this review. And, then I became mildly frustrated (with myself, not God) because I can't Imagine what that reason could be. It seems a silly question, because I know the answer must be very obvious...

So, I present the silly question to you wise women.

Why all the review?

Bible in 90 Days update

It's been a while since I posted about how it's going.

It's going... inconsistently.

I'm frustrated because I keep getting behind. Wednesdays are just not a good day to read. My work schedule and my after-work schedule are super busy.

Today I'm about one full day behind. I'm feeling frustrated. And I hope to get caught up and ahead by Tuesday. Maybe if I read some of Wednesday's pages on Tuesday I will be able to eek out Wednesdays pages on time.

HOWEVER...

As for the actual content, I'm loving it. Here are a few reflections:

• The Old Testament is seriously violent. There is a lot of beheading people, chopping them with the sword, piercing people with the sword, etc. If God were to make it into a movie, it would have to be rated R for adult content & violence.

• I simply do not understand how in the name of all that is purple, the people of Israel kept turning their backs on the Lord their God. Seriously! I mean, I know they didn't have the Grace that came from Christ or anything, but they did have prophets. And they had the stories of their own ancestors - all that wonderfullness of God bringing their own people up out of Egypt. They had miracles. But they still kept putting up those darned asherah poles. This boggles my mind & I simply do. not. get. it.
  

• The story of David was a happy & sad & happy one. He messed up by having that one guys killed, but he faced his punishment & moved on, walking in the ways of the Lord. The story of Solomon was happy and then tragically sad. You would have thought that after having spoken directly with the Lord, and receiving all that wisdom straight from God Himself, Solomon would have been able to stay faithful to the Lord.
  

• I cannot pronounce any of the names or places in the Old Testament. I am sure God cringes each time I verbally butcher someone's name. This was especially true in 1 Chronicles.

• I must admit to being a little surprised by the fact that the Israelites put to death so many children of the people they were driving out. Everytime it says "both young & old," I want to cry. I haven't read this part of the Bible since I became a mom, and it breaks my heart to think about that. I understand that God was really only concerned with His people and everything, but still, that's not a side of God I had ever really ruminated on before. It's uncomfortable.

Overall, I am absolutely loving the changes in my heart that are stemming from spending this much time [almost] daily in the Word.

Are you reading the #B90Days? How are you doing?

UFC, Religion Edition

Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Championship - Religion Edition!

Tonight we have a much-anticipated match-up!

In this corner, we have a complicated fella. He's sometimes unpredictable, he's often selfish, he's responsible for the original sin... It's... FREE WILL!!!
And in the far corner, we have the reigning champion. He's mysterious, he's confusing to tiny-brained humans everywhere, defending his title... it's Omniscience!!!

As I have been reading through the Bible in 90 Days, I have been reflecting on a serious conversation I had long ago. It was with someone who would probably describe themselves as an atheist... although don't understand how a person could be so angry at someone whom they don't even believe exists.

Anyway, this person was basically trying to talk me out of my faith. At the time I was still new to my faith (I still feel new to my faith - will I ever really feel like I have a handle on it?) and I wasn't really equipped to have these conversations. I did my best, and I think I did okay.

The topic of free will came up, and this person said:
"...but if your 'God' already knows everything that is ever going to happen, and everything you are ever going to do, then you don't really have free will, do you? You submit yourself to a God who tugs on your strings & makes you dance whenever & however He wants."

This made me think.

Well, God did harden Pharoah's heart...

And the story goes that God made the enemies of Isreal oppress His people...

And it does say that an evil spirit from God came over Saul...

And, well, to that, I'm still not sure what to say. Other than God does give us feelings in our hearts. Isn't that how He calls us to various purposes? He puts a feeling, a pulling, yearning feeling in our hearts. And we can ignore it for a while, but He grows it & grows it until we have to pay attention. But even when we pay attention to it, we can still choose not to follow it. We can choose not to follow Him. Look at all the people out there who have heard the Gospel, but still choose to turn their backs on Him. That's free will, right there.

And as for this bit about His omniscience negating our free will? That's an easy one. Allow me to answer with an analogy.

My dad loves Coca Cola. Loves it. So I always keep a couple in my fridge, just for him (because we are not Coke drinkers in my house). Whenever he comes over, I usually say something like, "Dad, can I get you something to drink? I have tea, Coke, water and juice."

Now here's the thing: I am on record as being 100% accurate in predicting that my Dad will choose a Coke. In scientific terms, that practically makes it a law of nature.

The sun is hot.
The rain is wet.
My dad will choose Coke.

But just because I already know what he will choose to drink does not mean that he cannot make his choice. I did not tell him to choose Coke. I did not force him to choose Coke. My amazing statistical accuracy does not in any way diminish his ability to choose whatever he wants.

It's the same thing with God.

Just because He has amazing statistical accuracy with knowing everything that will ever, ever happen during the whole existence of all of time does not mean that I do not really get to exercise my free will. It just means that He won't be surprised by my choice (even if I sometimes surprise myself!).

So you see, my free will & God's omniscience are not in opposite corners. His Omniscience is not the opponent of free will. It's more like the TV camera that watches over the whole thing.

Satan is the real opponent of free will. Because he manipulates it & uses it against us every chance he gets.

Just ask Adam & Eve about that.

Thank you.

Here is what I love about my readers (all 6 of them!):

My readers are truly wonderful, compassionate people. I posted a request for prayers without giving any real information about the situation. I did not intend to be secretive or cryptic, but there are some things going on that I'm not ready to share. It's just not the time yet. (And NO, I am not pregnant.)

Well, it seems that in this little corner of the blogosphere, if you ask for prayers, prayers is what you get.

No questions asked.

No details requested.

No dirt dug up.

Just beautiful, wonderful prayers. Freely given out of compassionate hearts.

And for that I am so thankful.

I believe the main question has been answered, and I know now that I need to stop arguing with Him. I need to stop telling Him the many reasons I can see that it might not be best. And that is what I am doing.

I still don't have all the answers I sought. But I now feel a certain peace in the not knowing. I feel in my heart that He will reveal the details when His time is right (and, of course, not a moment before!). He's got a plan, and I'm on a need-to-know basis. But the plan is there. The answers are there. He will share them with me when the time is ready, when the situation is ready, when I am ready.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me.

Wanted: A Quiet Heart

I don't usually do this, but I'm going to anyway.

Dear readers (all 6 of you) will you please pray for me?

There is no crisis, no dire illness. Just a bit (okay, a lot) of confusion. Unanswered questions. The path ahead is not clear. Like a mirage, the destination appears to look one way this moment, and another way the next. And regardless of what that seemingly far off destination looks like, the path to get there seems foggy, blocked, riddled with debris. It seems my Purple Brick Road has become a confusing and noisy labrinth, and I cannot see my way out.

How do I get there from here? Am I even supposed to get there at all? What about the details? The time lines? The obstacles?

My heart is troubled. But hopeful. That God will grant me wisdom, patience, strength, and a quiet heart so that I may listen to Him. Through his loving Grace in Jesus Christ.

Life's Too Short

I saw this sign at the gas station this morning:

Now, this is ironic on may levels. First of all, I was at the gas station (filling up my car, not my belly) after my first 5:45am boot camp*. Of course, the pump I pulled up to had to have a GINORMOUS cinnamon roll hovering over it. I'm not eating that stuff anymore. But more on that in another.

*Boot Camp (noun): A 45 minute activity wherein your brother-in-law, who is also a personal trainer, subjects you to various kinds of torture in the name of "physical fitness" to such a degree that you can hardly walk and begin to wonder if he really is as nice a person you've always thought.

The obvious irony is that, if you eat crap like that, life will be too short. For a lot of great things.

But then, as I was sitting in the car wash, I realized that this is a serious trend. How many people make unhealthy, immoral, downright sinful choices because "Life is too short?" It happens all the time.

-Life is too short for spending time at the gym.
-Life is too short for skipping that trip to Vegas with your girlfriends.
-Life is too short for staying married to someone you don't feel passionate about.
-Life is too short for sacrificing sleeping in on Sunday to go to church.

But is it? Really?

And is the life we have now really the most important one we'll ever have? (I'm pretty sure there's an even better one that comes later..)

Each of us has a life that is exactly as long as God allows it to be. He gives us exactly the right amount of time to accomplish everything He wants us to accomplish, and to receive the blessings He has planned for us.

Life is too short?

Bah. Life is just right.

#B90Days Session 2 Q&A

Here are the discussion questions for Session 2:

1. What did you have to modify this week in order to do your Bible reading?
I set a couple of rules for myself in order to stay on top of reading and avoid finishing after bedtime. The main rules are to try to get the reading done as early in the day as possible, and that I will not read any other material (except for the few blogs that inspire me) until each day's reading is done. The main things I've done less of this week are:
a) Reading other stuff - I was reading a novel, but I think I've only read a page or two lately.
b) General time wasting - I'm playing fewer games on my iPhone, I'm reading fewer
time-wasting blogs (e.g. failblog.com), I'm spending a lot less time on Facebook. (This all
might be a chicken vs egg thing, though, because I think it may be that spending all this
time submerged in His word has made that other stuff less desireable & fun.)
c) TV Watching (& as a consequence, knitting) - This one I'm less happy about, because TV
watching is really just an accessory to my knitting time. I've hardly knit this week, and I do
miss it. I hope to find a way to keep both the reading & the knitting in my daily routine next
week.

2. This question has to do with when you do your reading. It was multiple choice.
On workdays, I try to use spare moments here & there to get the reading done as early as possible. I don't take up a lot of my work time for this, since my employer is not paying me to read my Bible, but if I have a minute or two before an appointment and it's not enough time to accomplish something work-related, the I'll read a passage or two. So far, I have always still had quite a bit to read in the evening. On weekends (and snow days!), I get the whole thing done during our family's quiet time (after lunch), or after the kids are in bed. This is my preferred way of reading, since I get to spend an entire hour (or more) in His word.

3. Did you complete all of your readings this week? If yes, was it easy to do? If no, what ket you from it?
I did finish all the readings this week! So far I haven't gotten behind. Genesis & the first part of Exodus were super-easy; I love the stories, and I now know them well enough to anticipate what's coming up next. I will admit that the end of Exodus was a challenge, & Leviticus was less than fun. Numbers is next, and I know from experience that it will be a bit of a struggle. I know all the parts of the Bible are important, and I try not to disrespect any of it, but tomorrow I will begin reading the census. Not exactly a page turner, but important for records of lineage & numbers of people. Also important because the book of Numbers ends with fewer people than it began... and for a really good reason.

4. Do you have suggestions for others who may be struggling with their reading?
I'm not sure I do. I just know what works for me. I read aloud to myself when the reading gets tough. It keeps me engaged & awake. (ahem.) Also, I will admit that I counted out M&M's to correspond to the exact number of chapters I had to read in Leviticus today. Each time I started a new chapter, I ate an M&M. That's called benchmarking and it works for me in almost every multi-step task I do. I also really look each day for why the scriptures I'm reading are important, and what He wants us to take from it.

5. Is the God you read about in Genesis & Exodus the God you "know?" Did you ever get m ad at Him while you were reading? If so, when? Is that OK?
I would have to say that, yes, the God I read about is the one I know. While God is not a person (human), He does have a personality. We are made in His image, so if we have a range of emotions, it stands to reason that He does too. I think in the first three books, we've seen a lot of anger, a lot of love, and a bit of feeling flabberghasted (I could almost imagine Him wanting to say, "For the love of purple, Moses, get over yourself & go out & tell the people what I said. I'm with you, so it won't be a big deal. Jeez.") I think we've also seen a lot of His patient side. He tolerated a lot from the Isrealites. (And I know there is more to come!)
I'm just thankful that He doesn't have to get so angry and pour out His wrath anymore. Thanks to the love that Jesus had for us, and the amazing thing he did for us, God doesn't do that whole fire & brimstone thing anymore.

6. Let's face it: Adam & Eve blew it. The entire struggle of humankind derives from the fact that the first couple couldn't keep away from a piece of fruit. Have you ever blown it? What was the value of that experience?
Of course I've blown it. In very big & very little ways... every single day. I try to find the value in each failure by learning something from it so perhaps I can prevent it from being repeated. It seems I still have a lot to learn, because I'm constantly screwing up, though. I mess up at home and at work, and with just about every person I know. The main thing I am trying to learn is not be so hard on myself. I'm a perfectionist by nature, so even small mistakes (e.g. burning a grilled cheese sandwich & wasting the ingredients) are things I will likely be chastising myself for hours later.

7. The last question asks the group to work together to fill in the blanks of the Ten Commandments. My 7 year old & I did a whole unit on these over the summer, so they are fresh in my mind!
1. You shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself any idols.
3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
4. Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
6. You shall not commit murder.
7. You shall not steal.
8. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house, spouse or other possessions.

I might have mixed up # 6 & 7. But they're all in there!
I do have a few random reflections, but I'll save those for another post.
Please leave a comment, & thanks for stopping by!