Happy Thanksgiving!

That Was a Humdinger!

So, you know how God made kids so that they tend to be inquisitive, curious creatures? And you know how they are forever asking interesting questions & making really fascinating comments?

 I think this is one of the ways that God sort of shares is sense of humor with us. I mean, really... sometimes these comments make you question whether you are fit for parenthood, and sometimes these questions just make you wonder what planet your kid is really from. They are almost always good for getting a chuckle.

Well, I have to admit that our oldest is not so much a curious person. He has always sort of just accepted his world as it is & doesn't really question it. Every now & then, he'll ask a question or make a comment that makes me think to myself, "Phew! That was a humdinger!" It maybe happens four or five times a year in our house.

Well, Tyson was on quite a roll today, because he hit me with THREE!

1. This morning (before his eyes were even completely open) he says to me, "Mom." I thought he was going to ask me something easy, like "what's for breakfast," or "if time travel could be possible would it really rip a hole in the space-time continuum if you met yourself?" Nope. Nothing so simple as that. He asked, "Did you know that a girl can get married to a girl and a boy can get married to a boy?"
Oh boy. He's seven. I honestly naively thought we had a couple more years. I blame it on public school. Anyway, in the moment, when we were rushed to get to said institution on time, I told him that wasn't exactly true & that we would discuss it later. (Then I practically ran straight to Husband in a slight panic & sought advice before revisiting this topic later this evening...)

2. Later this morning, as Tyson was eating breakfast & I was packing his lunch, he hits me with, "Mom, how did Daddy grow all that hair under his armpits?" Ugh. Really? Do we have to have the whole "someday your body will change" conversation over breakfast? I told him that at some point, when a boy is a teenager, he starts to grow hair in strange places on his body, like his arms, legs, and ~yes~ armpits. He said, "Hmmm. Pappy and Popi are pretty old, so they must have a LOT of hair growing out of their armpits!!!"  To which I replied that it doesn't keep growing like the hair on your head; God put the underarm hair on a timer. It only grows to be so long, then it stops. He appeared relieved and then his eyes got wide & he said, "Uh, Mom? When I grow up will I start growing hair... you know...? And on my... you know... [whispers] backside?"  Really, son? It's 7:15 in the morning.

3. Tonight, as I was cleaning out his ears (by the way, why are boys' ears so icky?) I mentioned that his brain must have been working overtime this week. He asked why & I said because when his brain works really hard, it pumps extra wax out his ears, like exhaust out of a car. He said, "Mom, that's SO not true. You're teasing me." Yes, I said, I was. Then he said - are you ready for this? Brace yourself.

"Anyway, ear wax tastes really gross."

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen, is why I call these HUMDINGERS.

This Humdinger has been brought to you today by God's Awesome Sense of Humor.

Oh, the Irony...

My boys are getting to be two independent thinkers. Well, the Elder has been for a while, but the Younger is really growing into his independence lately.

So, what do you get when you put my two boys in the same room, then walk away to do something trivial (like cook dinner, change the laundry or - Heaven forbid - use the bathroom)? Well, lately you get quite a bit of fighting.

And with the fighting comes yelling (& the occasional blood-curdling scream).

Have you ever had that out-of-body-mom-experience where you hear yourself saying something at the same time your kids hear you saying it & you can't believe you're saying that? (This situation is often - but not always- accompanied by that sudden realization that you sound exactly like one of your parents & you cringe & wonder when & how THAT happened.)

Well, I heard myself tonight:

"I can't stand the yelling. You guys are constantly yelling at each other & I can't take all the noise. You're both bright kids; I'm quite certain that you can work out your differences with calm & quiet voices. The yelling has got to stop. I can't think when you two carry on like that, so for the love of all things purple will you please stop the yelling?"

I know. This doesn't sound so bad, right? I was beginning to congratulate myself on my awesome parenting skills when I was hit full in the face with the irony.

I WAS YELLING THE WHOLE TIME!

Which might explain why my kids were looking at me as though I had just grown a daffodil out of my ear.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

I used to love those brain-puzzles where you have to find all the things that are wrong with the picture. It was always silly stuff, like a picture of a mom, hard at work in her daily routine. Only she's have a banana propped between her ear & shoulder instead of a phone... and she's be ironing with a toy firetruck instead of her iron.

Well, this is a photo I took of a flier that Tyson brought home from school the other day. It's advertising a couple of days when the local middle school's indoor swimming pool will be open for district families.

See if you can spot What's Wrong with this Picture.

Can you see it?

I know, at first I thought it must be the fact that a middle school has an indoor pool (in a district that is asking for a raise in taxes today). I mean, sheesh, my high school didn't have any kind of swimming pool at all! Unless you count that massive sink hole pothole out in front of the band room that used to fill up when it rained.

But, no. That's not it! Remember, this flier is advertising a fun-filled experience of family togetherness. Here's a hint:

See it now? That swimmer is not having a fun-filled evening of swimming. That swimmer is clearly in distress!

And he's not alone! There are a bunch of other swimmers-in-distress on the back of the flier!

It made me think that maybe we should skip this school activity in favor of more safe activities.

                 You know, like juggling swords.