Friday, June 24, 2011

The Tortoise and the Hare

Make that "The ADHESIVE and the Hare."

Actually, it was "The adhesive and the HAIR."

Well, really it was more like, "The Adhesive IN the hair."

Little Dude had to get a sleep study done. Because he isn't sleeping well. (Okay, that part might have been obvious.)

He gets up a couple of times a night, which, as everyone knows, means Mommy gets up a couple of times a night. In fact, last month I felt like I had a newborn baby again. Except I didn't have the maternity leave and helpful family & friends around to make it bearable.

Also, Little Dude sounds like Darth Vader when he does sleep.
 It's sad. And loud. We can hear him through his closed door. When his door is open, we can hear him from the foot of the stairs. It's a little funny!

But also, it's not so funny. I feel bad for the little guy. And now that I'm home for the summer, I feel bad for me. Because an interesting thing happens when you have a three year old who doesn't actually sleep: they lose their freaking marbles. (So does Mommy.) Seriously, he is extremely hyper and impulsive, prone to extreme tantrums and is having difficulty learning things that he should know by now.

I know, I know. This sounds like every other three year old you've ever met. But think of the most hyperactive, impulsive and moody preschooler you've ever met.

Now imagine that kid on meth. After downing three espresso's and a case of Red Bull.

Welcome to our family!

So, we took him for a sleep study. (Actually, Matt took him for the "sleepover," but I scheduled it and filled out all the paperwork.)

This is an interesting experience. Have you ever had one? They attached about 50 censors to Riley. He had them wrapped around his chest and belly, taped to his arms, knees and face, and glued to his head. GLUED. To his HEAD. Over his HAIR.

His "do" was hysterical when he came home the next morning! It was sticking out all over his head, and it was really, really funny.

It was really funny... Right up until the moment we tried to get it out of his hair.

Did you know that sleep clinics use INDUSTRIAL strength glue to keep those little things stuck to kids? We tried the special wipes they gave us, but they weren't very useful. We tried a couple of other things, and settled on baby oil as the best sticky-stuff-remover. After a lot of rubbing and scrubbing with the baby oil, we figured there couldn't be much glue left in his hair, so we shampooed him.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.




The great thing about having boys is that they are dirt magnets, so by the end of the day, it was easy to see all the spots we had missed on his skin.

And by the next morning, it was apparent that we had removed neither all the glue nor the baby oil from his hair.

And this leads me to one of the other great things about boys. They look awesome with short hair. Really short. That has been unceremoniously shaved off in the bathroom by a frustrated mother wielding fourteen year old clippers that make a really annoying sound.

He hates it, and I've promised him that he can grow it back out. For now we're calling it his "summer hair."

What do you think?

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