Over the summer I discovered some really great blogs. They are authored by Christian moms. If you follow my blog, you already know this. And you also already know that in reading these blogs, I began to learn about what it really means to be a gracious woman, a daughter of God, a wife and mother who walks with Christ. There are many that I have discovered, and each one brings her own personality, experience and wisdom to this whole new world I am still discovering.
So at the end of August, school started again. And I went back to work again. And the transition has been hard.
And the first thing to go was internet time. I no longer posted on either of my blogs. I no longer read any of their blogs. I stopped sharing and I stopped receiving. It was "me time," and I didn't have time for it.
188 unread posts. It has been weeks. During those weeks, I was trapped in a downward spiral. I became tired, cranky, overwhelmed and generally unpleasant. I lost my joy, and I could feel my love and faith following close behind.
And then I had the worst week ever. That week I slept in instead of getting up early to spend time with the Lord every day. I don't think I prayed the whole week. Depression & anxiety were not only knocking at the door, they were pretty close to huffing & puffing and blowing my house down. Oh, and my house! It looked like a tornado had gone through it. My house tends to be a mirror of what I'm feeling inside. Clearly, I was feeling chaos. Overwhelmed, insane chaos. I was failing big time and needed to get myself together.
Except that I can't really get myself together. Because it was when I tried to do it myself that the wheels came off my wagon.
...and you'll have to come back tomorrow for the conclusion of this post!