Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A few thoughts...

First of all, I would like to thank my readers (all four of them) for leaving comments on my delurking post. It's so nice to know that I'm not just writing this thing for myself. Because even though I definitely process through "stuff" on the blog, if I only wanted to keep it for me, I'd write it in a journal & stuff it under my bed. I want you to know that I always welcome and encourage your comments, thoughts, even your (gasp!) criticisms. I'm learning as I go, and feedback from others is a valuable and important part of learning anything.

So, I'm participating in reading the Bible in 90 Days. So far it's going well. It's Day 5 & I'm on track. Of course, it's only Day 5, and my stick-to-it-iveness tends to wane around the 9th or 10th day on this type of commitment. I think that part of me is still expecting failure. But I'm praying & reading through it.

There are many women (and a few men) who are participating, and it's been interesting to see how everyone is tackling this wonderful challenge. Some people are keeping daily journals. Some people are making family trees from Genesis. Some people are attacking their Bibles with highlighters. Some are making lists of things to explore further at a later date. Some people are even reading it to their children!

I congratulate every single person who has embarked on this journey. While we journey together, each of us has our own personal path to follow. If you feel inspired to make notes, or study deeper, or stand on your head and whistle dixie while you read, go for it!

I'm taking a slightly different approach. I'm not highlighting or journaling or making lists. I'm just reading. I really don't feel my usual need to make outlines and charts and keep them in a 3-ring binder. (Yes, I'm a little neurotic like that.) I don't feel any urgency to write in the margins or commit the whole thing to memory right now.

I feel strangely calm. I know I'll be back. After I've read it all, I know I will really dive into the parts that grab me. Then I'll take out my journal. Then I'll draw trees and make notes. I'll ponder every word if I'm moved to do so.

For now, I'm just letting His Word wash over me. I'm letting it cleanse my soul. Clean out the cobwebs. This is a big commitment. Why complicate it? He has lead me to this. I'm sure He will accomplish everything He wants with this experience. And He won't need a highlighter to do it.

I do, however, have a few reflections to share.
  1. That whole thing about God creating Eve to be Adam's helper didn't so much bother my feminist roots this time. On the contrary, it forced me to really examine myself and my role in my marriage, and question all that girl-power stuff we grew up with.
  2. While I may be backing away from the pillars of the modern feminist movement, I am super happy we've come really far from the early Old Testament! Women seemed to be quite a commodity back then. They were the ultimate reinforcer! Forget gold stars, if you help some girls water their father's sheep, he'll give you the oldest as a reward!
  3. Jeebus. There was some seriously disturbing incest stuff going on back then. Guys marrying their father's sisters, girls getting dear old dad drunk and... (shudders) I can't finish that sentence. Creepy.
  4. God didn't really pick men who were spectacular on their own to do His will. Adam was clearly wipped (Sorry, I know you may take that word as crude because of what it implies, but I couldn't think of a better way to put it. Please forgive me. Still learning, remember?) Noah basically became a drunk after he planted his vinyards. Abram was a bit soft. Jacob was a sneak & swindler. Moses was a doubter & seemed to whine a lot in the beginning. These guys only became great men after God got a hold of them (and even then, Moses whined about it). Gives me a little hope that I, too, might be used by the Lord.. despite my many shortcomings.
  5. Moses must have had a stutter. He repeatedly tells the Lord (as if He wasn't aware) that he was "slow of tongue," and "clumsy with words." He also had some serious issues with self esteem & social anxiety. Even the Lord's promise to give him the words to speak didn't increase his confidence. Poor guy. But, again, gives me hope.
  6. I've always thought the Lord had a sense of humor, but I only realized today that He can also be really creepy. Like, Dean Koontz & Stephen King creepy. (Cue creepy suspenseful music) Locusts? Frogs? Gnats? Water turned to blood? Flies? It's a good thing the Almighty is kind & loving, because things could have turned out much worse for us.
Alright, ya'll. I'm excited, humbled and on schedule. And I'm headed to bed. Nighty night!

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it great to have His words wash over you, like any good piece of literature or music?

    It was interesting to read about Eve and you examining your role in your marriage.

    Girl power in the 1990s did lead some of us up some paths, as I read in the celebrity columns of today.

    And number 4 is an important point. I didn't know that Noah was a drunk!

    And the creepy parts of the Bible, not the incest only, but all those beasts!


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