I'm still reading. And I'm still so very thankful for the wonderful support I received from everyone who commented and emailed and prayed for me when I thought I had failed completely.
Yesterday I finished the Old Testament and began reading Matthew. So far it's been awesome to read all those words printed in red. I have found myself teary eyed more than once since beginning the New Testament.
I learned some important things from all those wonderful women who offered their support and wisdom when I was ready to quit the whole thing.
I learned that I do not, in fact have to do anything on my own. I have always understood my relationship with God as a parent-child relationship. He is my parent; I am His child. But I am also a parent, so I use my own experience to help me understand some of the things God does, some of the situations he lets me experience. And I know that in my role as a parent, I do not get my seven year old a glass of juice every time he wants one. I make him do it on his own. Because he can. Becuase I have given him experiences that have prepared him for a thirsty situation. I taught him to get his own glass of juice without any help from me. By this reasoning, I deduced that there should be some simple things (like reading the Bible, losing weight and doing my job) that I should be expected to do all by myself. Without any help from Him.
But someone who is really smart told me something that is, well... really smart. This is what she said:
Of course there are things your kids are expected to do all by themselves after you've taught them how. That's because your job as a parent is to prepare them for life without you. You won't always be there, so you have to be sure they are able to live when you're gone. But God isn't going anywhere. You're not expected to do things without His help because there will never be a time when He's not there for you. The point of your parenting is to make your kids independent; the point of His parenting is to make you dependent.
I also heard from more than one person that the Adversary will mess with people when we are on the right track. Could there be any righter track than committing to read the whole Bible, every word of the magnificent message God has given us, from cover to cover? Is there any righter track than spending at least a whole hour in His Word every day?
Someone else very wisely pointed out that God did not put the 90 Days expectation on us. We did that. I did that. God doesn't care how many days it takes to me to read His Word. He only cares that I read it. I haven't really failed if I am still reading... even on Day 95. I have much to learn from the words in that Book, and I won't really learn it if I am tearing through it at lightning speed in order to meet some self imposed deadline.
Finally, someone pointed out to me that we have seasons in our lives. We have to examine and evaluate each season to discover what this time is for. My life certainly has clearly defined seasons. Every year, in fact. Because I work full time from August to May, and I am home with my children from June to August. This season (the one in which I work full time and maintain my responsibilities as a wife/mom/homemaker) is a very busy one. Everything in my life right now is busy and fast paced. Maybe my time with God should be slower. Maybe every moment there should be savored. Next year, during the summer season (the one in which I can slow down & focus completely on my family), I am planning to Read the Bible in 90 Days... in 90 days. When I will have an hour a day. When I've already read through it and savored all the words.When life is not passing me by at breakneck speeds while I limp along & try to keep up.
For now, I'm still reading. And I'm savoring. And I'm thinking I will end up reading the Bible in 90 Days... in around 110 (maybe 120) days. That's okay, isn't it? Because the important thing is that I read it.